Ileana Berrios, MS, IBCLC

Breastfeeding is often seen as the mother’s responsibility, but it’s important to remember that parenting is a team effort. When both partners work together during the breastfeeding journey, it can strengthen their relationship, reduce stress, and make the process smoother for everyone involved—especially the baby. Whether you’re a new parent or a seasoned pro, learning how to support each other during this time is key to a successful and fulfilling experience.

Here are some tips for couples navigating breastfeeding together and how teamwork can make all the difference.

1. Education and Preparation: Learn Together

Before your baby arrives, spend time learning about breastfeeding as a couple. Attend prenatal breastfeeding classes, watch instructional videos, and read books or articles together. This shared knowledge will help both partners feel informed and prepared for the challenges that may come with breastfeeding.

When both parents are on the same page, it fosters a supportive environment where the breastfeeding parent doesn’t feel like they’re navigating the journey alone. The non-breastfeeding partner can better understand the process, anticipate challenges, and offer solutions.

2. Provide Emotional Support

Breastfeeding can be physically and emotionally demanding, especially in the early days. The non-breastfeeding partner can play a crucial role by providing emotional support. Simple gestures like offering words of encouragement, reminding the breastfeeding parent to take breaks, or simply listening to their concerns can go a long way.

Sometimes, breastfeeding can feel overwhelming or frustrating. Knowing that they have a supportive partner by their side can ease stress and reinforce the sense of being in this together.

3. Be Hands-On During Feeding Times

While the breastfeeding parent handles the actual feeding, the non-breastfeeding partner can still contribute. Help by positioning pillows, bringing water or snacks, or making sure the breastfeeding parent is comfortable. Small actions like burping the baby afterward, changing diapers, or offering a gentle back rub can show that you’re engaged in the process and helping share the load.

Being present and involved during feedings, even if you’re not directly breastfeeding, helps strengthen the bond between both parents and the baby.

4. Nighttime Support: Share the Responsibility

Night feedings can be exhausting, especially in the first few months when babies need to eat frequently. Couples can develop a system to share the responsibility, ensuring both partners get some rest. For example, the non-breastfeeding parent can help by changing the baby’s diaper before a feed or bringing the baby to the breastfeeding parent during the night.

If you’re using pumped breast milk, the non-breastfeeding partner can take on some of the feeding shifts, allowing the breastfeeding parent to get more rest.

5. Be Patient and Understanding

The breastfeeding journey doesn’t always go as planned. There may be challenges like latching issues, low milk supply, or nipple pain. It’s important for the non-breastfeeding partner to remain patient and understanding. Acknowledge the hard work that goes into breastfeeding and offer a judgment-free space for the breastfeeding parent to express their feelings, whether they’re happy, frustrated, or discouraged.

By being supportive and empathetic, couples can face these challenges together, finding solutions as a team.

6. Offer Practical Help Beyond Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding can take a lot of time and energy, leaving the breastfeeding parent feeling depleted. Non-breastfeeding partners can help by taking on other responsibilities around the house. Cooking meals, cleaning, or caring for older children allows the breastfeeding parent to focus on feeding and resting. This division of labor creates balance and reduces feelings of overwhelm.

Helping out in practical ways shows that you’re contributing to the overall wellbeing of the family and not just relying on one partner to carry the weight.

7. Stay Connected as a Couple

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day demands of newborn care, but it’s important to nurture your relationship as a couple. Make time for each other, even if it’s just a few moments of conversation before bed or a quick cuddle while the baby is sleeping. Supporting each other emotionally during the breastfeeding journey strengthens your bond as parents and partners.

Staying connected and checking in with each other helps ensure that you’re both on the same page and feeling supported.

8. Encourage Self-Care for the Breastfeeding Parent

Breastfeeding can take a toll on the body and mind, so self-care is essential for the breastfeeding parent. The non-breastfeeding partner can encourage this by offering to watch the baby while the breastfeeding parent takes a nap, a shower, or enjoys some quiet time. Self-care is vital to preventing burnout and maintaining a positive breastfeeding experience.

When both parents prioritize each other’s well-being, it creates a harmonious home environment where both feel valued and cared for.

9. Celebrate the Wins Together

Breastfeeding, like all aspects of parenting, comes with its challenges and triumphs. Celebrate those small victories together—whether it’s the baby latching successfully, reaching a feeding milestone, or getting through a tough night. Sharing in these successes reinforces the sense of teamwork and accomplishment that comes with raising a child together.

Final Thoughts: Navigating Breastfeeding as a Team

Breastfeeding may seem like a solo act, but with the right support, it can be a collaborative effort. By working together, both partners can create a nurturing environment that supports not only the baby but each other. Teamwork in parenting is essential for building a strong, connected family, and navigating breastfeeding as a couple sets the foundation for a positive parenting journey.

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